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"I-I don\'t know, cause... they\'re cute...?" she mumbled.

"Cute?" I knew she called weird things \'cute\'. But to think she would call an Aardvark cute was still surprising.

"Hmm, I saw... its picture o-once in a... book. Are there any... found here?"

"No," I said quickly. And I was glad that there were not any of that kind of animal here. Because if there were and if she wanted one, I would give her since I would do anything she wanted. But it would be very strange if she kept hugging that kind of thing and brings it on our bed. It was disgusting in every way possible.

"Then... what would s-she... like?" she pouted. "I wish I could do something... to make her h-happy. I can\'t even...

cook. Neither... can I s-sew. She likes... poems, but I can\'t write poems e-either. What should I do...

then, Dem?"

"You\'re that worried about this simple thing?"

"Hmm..."

"Well, the best thing you can do is get better as soon as possible so she can talk to you. She likes to talk to you after all," I said. "What do you think of that?"

"W-Will that... be enough?"

"Of course," I nodded. "Just get better quickly."

\'For me...\'

I wondered if she was pretending to be alright or she really was. I had done something wrong without thinking. If she was angry, I would understand.

Why did I not think of a black rose\'s meaning before showing her that? I thought she would be happy as she liked them. But I did not know she would think about it that way.

But now I regretted it.

"I love you."

"Why, so... suddenly?" she asked.

"So, don\'t abandon me," I said.

"Huh? Yeah... I don\'t want to...," she chuckled.

I knew what she was thinking even without reading her mind. She was wondering again if she deserved all this. Because of her family, she had always abased herself. I wanted to tell her many times that she was worthy of it. But perhaps my words never reached the deepest wounded part of her heart.

"You said it. Now you can never leave me," I said.

"Mmm..."

"You won\'t, right?"

"O-Okay..."

Something about her tone was different. I knew why. Yet, I did not even know why I craved her affirmation so much.

"You know, there... was a c-creepy guy...," she muttered.

"A guy? Creepy? Who?" I asked.

"He was a t-teacher... He wasn\'t too... old and used t-to teach us... h-history," she said.

"Then why is he a creep? Did he do something or say something to you?" I asked.

"W-Well..."

"Hm?"

"M-My seatmate... was a girl named R-Rheya... One day, d-during his... class, she had her... p-period... She didn\'t n-notice...

When I saw it, I t-told her... and I had an e-extra... pad that I g-gave her... That teacher... heard us perhaps... or he saw it a-as well..."

\'Perhaps he didn\'t say or do anything to her. If he had, I would just go and kill him...\'

"Rheya was really... abashed, so I helped... her and took her t-to the r-restroom. That teacher... always made me f-fell uncomfortable... I don\'t know w-why.

E-Everyone liked him a... lot. I think it\'s b-because... he was h-handsome..."

\'Did you just call another man handsome? In front of your husband? Even though you know how jealous I can get?\'

"Not as much as you... of c-course...," she added.

My anger abated in a moment hearing this. Perhaps I was being childish about every little thing. But when it came to her, I could not help it at all.

"T-Then... the next day, I went t-to his o-office... because I h-had forgotten to d-do my homework... Well, it\'s b-because... Draven had beaten me u-up... so, I could not do a-anything..."

\'That fucking bastard! He is in jail now, but I will just give order to my people there to kill that fucking trash!\'

"In his o-office, from h-his first drawer of t-the desk, s-something... was out slightly. I a-actually... came to h-his office again that... day sneakily... when he w-was not t-there...

It turned out t-to be... the pad I gave R-Rheya... And it... was u-used..."

\'Gross! What\'s up with this creep?\'

"Twenty days... later, Rheya left school..."

"Why?"

"No one knows..."

"Is that so?"

"Hmm," she nodded. "But at the s-same time, a ruined... dead body... of a g-girl was found... in the n-nearby s-slaughterhouse..."

"What?"

"Yeah... I mean, c-can it happen that he k-killed her...? I mean, he collected... her p-pad as... well, so... he can..."

"It can happen. Do you know his name?" I asked.

"No..."

\'I\'m glad you forgot about this freaking creepy bastard...!\'

"I don\'t know why... I remembered i-it all o-of a sudden... and I wanted t-to tell... you..."

"I am glad that you told me. I like it when you share everything with me," I said as I rubbed my face against her nape.

"Hmm... Am I s-supposed to be... traumatized b-by this incident?" she asked.

"No... since you don\'t... know about the whole thing for sure and besides, it\'s not like you were close to her or something, right?"

"Yeah, and I was wondering... if I was... abnormal... for not... being a-affected much... by this...," she muttered.

"I don\'t... know... how trauma... w-works... in the first p-place..."

"You don\'t know?"

\'Even when you\'re already traumatized? Because of your family, you still cry in your sleep and scream. Your face becomes all gloomy and scared whenever you think of those times. Yet you\'re saying you don\'t know?\'

"No... D-Do I?" she pouted.

She surely did not know what was happening inside her mind, did she? It was not like I wanted her to know. I just wished she never knew that word in the first place.

"No, you don\'t. You don\'t need to," I said.

"Hmm..."

"What?"

"Your face is so... smooth..."

"Smooth? Is it because I don\'t keep even a bit of facial hair?"

"I g-guess... so," she mumbled.

"You sound a bit... dejected... Would you have preferred if I kept beard or something?" I asked.

"No... I mean, it\'s... not fair... Your face is even... smoother than m-mine... and I\'m a girl..."

"Who said that?"

"Me?"

I laughed. She was being adorable again and she had not even taken the medicine that she would not be in her right sense.

"But I think your face is softer," I said.

"Is that... right?"

"Of course," I said. "By the way, did that teacher do anything to you?"

"No... He didn\'t... After all, he resigned... after that incident..."

\'Good.\'

"I wanna... sleep," she mumbled and snuggled against my chest.

"Should I rub your forehead?" I asked.

"No... I... I want you to t-touch my s-stomach..."

"Your... Why?"

"And rub the place... I want you to d-do... so," she said.

"... Alright," I said.

I did not know why she wanted me to do so. I unbuttoned the front of her dress and put my hand inside. It had been a long time since I touched that place. Since she was weak, we could do nothing like that.

"Like this?"

"Hmm..."

She closed her eyes and leaned in my touch. That place, her stomach... A life was growing there- a life that we made. But it did not matter.

Even if I had to kill that life to save her, I would. But since she told me not to, I would hold back from doing anything. I did not want her to hate me.

"You won\'t do something... strange," she muttered as if she could read my mind as if she knew what I wanted. "You promised..."

"... Yes, I won\'t. I promised my wife after all," I said.

Her body trembled, but she held onto me. I wished she could rely on me forever. I could save her from everything. But sometimes, I also felt helpless. Like this time- because I did not know what to do to make her better.

"You\'re a bit better than before. Luc wants to be sure, so..."

"Can... he come here?"

"Even if we have to go there, I won\'t let you walk. I will carry you," I said.

"No... It will be h-hard for... you to c-carry me... all the w-way... there... so..."

"It\'s alright. It won\'t be okay if someone else knows about it. So, we have to go to the magic tower. And don\'t worry, my wife. Your husband is not weak at all..."

"And if it\'s... t-true, then..."

"Then your power as a dark mage will be awakened," I said.

"But if I... become a d-dark mage..."

"I don\'t care. Even if everyone opposes you, I will accept you. And besides, it\'s for your safety," I said. "I can do anything for that. Anything."